


How to pick Up a Wench in Five simple Steps

by TheBeautyOfTarth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 08:31:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12860757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautyOfTarth/pseuds/TheBeautyOfTarth
Summary: Jaime Lannister, renowned dating coach, was proud to say he could pick up any girl he wanted…except for one.





	How to pick Up a Wench in Five simple Steps

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not dead, i'm just taking a long break

Jaime Lannister was charming and handsome, athletic, rich, and witty. He was sure any girl would be thrilled to date him since he had been on the top five on the list of the most eligible bachelors in Westeros for the past five years. Hence, he couldn’t understand how it was possible a girl could resist him at all. To be fair she wasn’t just any girl, she was unique, smart and wonderful. Her name was Brienne Tarth, his much younger co-worker at the magazine he wrote articles for, a brilliant journalist of twenty-five, with a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes and equally mesmerizing legs. Brienne Tarth, the most infuriating and amazing woman he had ever met and yet…she wasn’t interested on him at all.

It had become an obsession for Jaime to pick her up, but she simply would ignore all his efforts even when using his own -and very effective- _“how to pick up a girl in five simple steps”_ guide. She also was immune to every subtle tactic he knew about charming women.

 

  1. **_meet the girl in relaxed social locations:_** _Choose places you’d feel comfortable engaging in small talk with strangers. But more to the point, places you think women would feel comfortable being chatted up. When you find a girl you want to approach, always assess the situation first. If she looks in a hurry or appears to be emotionally unavailable, respect her space._



Jaime guessed the gym was as good as any other place to make his first move

“morning wench”

“Jaime!? What the hell?” she covered herself with a towel

“I just wanted to ask you if….”

“this is the ladies showers you creep GET.OUT” she yelled and threw him her soap

 

  1. **_Exude confidence at every step of the pick up_** _: Women are primarily attracted to social power and confidence over everything. If you appear confident in your approach and be direct with your intentions, you’ll have no problem picking up girls. It is not necessarily what you say, it is more about your delivery. Confidence is largely perceived non-verbally, so it’s important you communicate this through your body language and voice tonality._



Jaime opened her office door with all the confidence he could muster and walked directly to Brienne

“Jaime? what’s the meammm” he put a finger over her mouth before she could speak another word

“You. Me. Friday night. I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock. Wear something sexy” he ended up with a roar.

A man to his right cleared his throat. Jaime never noticed there were people with her when he first burst in, huge mistake. Brienne looked embarrassed for the both of them “I believe I haven’t introduced you to my Father. Dad, this is Jaime Lannister, one of my co-workers. Jaime, this is my dad, General Selwyn Tarth. And I believe you already know Catelyn Stark, _our_ boss” she added.

Jaime had never been a shy guy but at that moment he just wanted to drop dead. Her dad was glaring at him as if he wanted to use him as a practice target, Catelyn was just shaking her head in disapproval.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know… I’ll be… uh, I’ll show myself out”

 

  1. **_Avoid closed off body language:_** _It will only make a girl anxious and wanting to end the conversation. To open up your body language – smile, hold a wide stance, and turn your body to face her when talking. Also, it really helps to look her on the eye and hold her gaze when you talk to her._



“wait!” Jaime entered the elevator just before the doors closed. Brienne was there, alone.

She sighed in annoyance and tried to ignore him, unsuccessfully. Jaime was looking intensely at her with a weird smile, in addition he was invading her personal space even though the elevator was ample enough for the both of them. “Listen, the other day was weird but… What are you doing?” now he was jumping in front of her

“nothing, I’m just trying to look at you in the eye, not my fault you’re so tall”

“Jaime, we are almost the same height” she said irritated. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Without another look at him she excused herself “this is my floor. Bye Jaime”

“Brienen, wait!” too late, she was gone. He banged his head against the elevator’s door

 

  1. **_Be your genuine self:_** _Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to impress a girl. Women are perceptive creatures and will smell a ‘fake’ a mile away. Instead be your best self. Radiate the positive qualities you possess because self-assurance is sexy._



Maybe it was all about his age. Maybe Brienne was not attracted to men on their mid thirties he thought. That was not an obstacle for him, he had an idea.

He supposed he could subtly walk in front of Brienne’s office, so she could take a glimpse of his new juvenile look. So, he did it, several times. It did not work though. He decided to make a direct approach and went to her office with a lame excuse. She took a long look at him before asking “why are you dressed like your nephew?”

“What? Nonsense wench. Why would I be trying to look like him?”

“I don’t know. Do you have a middle age crisis or something? I’m starting to believe that could explain a lot lately”

“ _Middle age_? I’m barely thirty! Besides, this is how we, young men, dress these days”

“You have Thirty-seven”

“Can’t I just come to the office dressed casual? This is nothing to do with an age crisis wench. Yes, I’m thirty-seven but I have the looks and stamina of a twenty-year old” he winked at her

“So, you’re saying that this is the way you normally dress out of work?”

“yup” Brienne directed him an incredulous look

“then, why does your jersey say Joffrey on the back?”

“I have to go”

 

  1. **_Don’t fear rejection:_** _As confusing as gender roles appear to be in 2017, one thing with dating remains unchanged – it’s the man’s job to make the first move._



Jaime was currently moping over her multiple rejections in his office and tearing some petals from a poor flower that somehow ended up on his desk -surely a gift from an admirer, again- and cursing the day he decided to become a dating coach when suddenly his door opened.

As casually as if it was her own office Brienne came through the door “Lannister, you free this Saturday?”

“Uh? y-yes, why?”

“I have tickets for the World Series, Bears vs Maidens. I’ll pick you up at seven” she made to close the door but stopped mid-way, a blush spreading over her cheeks “Wear something sexy” Brienne added playfully and left.

Jaime grinned.

Brienne Tarth had just picked him up.

**Author's Note:**

> I took the 5 advices from here: http://www.datingmetrics.com/how-to-pick-up-girls/ with a few changes. For this one-shot I read more articles about “picking up girls” than I’d have liked to. btw I think all those articles are crap but this one was the first thing half-decent I found.


End file.
